


Self-deception Isn’t that easy

by Trashy_clown



Series: Middle schools a bitch [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Middle School, Alternate Universe - Pennywise is Defeated in the First Battle (IT), Arcade Scene (IT), Beverly Marsh is a Good Friend, F/M, Gay Richie Tozier, Gen, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Middle School, Platonic Relationships, Rated T for Trashmouth (IT), That one arcade sene is mentioned, false crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28632348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashy_clown/pseuds/Trashy_clown
Summary: “Beverly is pretty, she’s brave,she’s kind and smart, tough an..funny, everything you’d want In a girl, so why don’t I like her? Don’t get me wrong I like her just nothing as more than friends. But I think she’s pretty so Maby I do like her... yeah I have a crush on Beverly”  Richie frowns at himself in the mirror. “That doesn’t sound right... no no no, it sounds perfectly right, I like Beverly” Richie sighs. “This means I can’t be gay... nope not gay at all.”Or Richie try’s to convince himself he’s straight by convincing himself he likes Beverly.
Relationships: Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier & Everyone
Series: Middle schools a bitch [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098275
Kudos: 4





	Self-deception Isn’t that easy

Richie stood in front of the mirror on the back of his door, adjusting his hair “first day of 8th grade perfectly easy, no one will remember what happened at the arcade, it was too long ago.”

He frowns pulling up his socks. “It doesn’t even matter, what Henry and his cousin said wasn’t true so there’s nothing to be worried about” he runs a hand through his hair nervously. “It probably is true” he mumbles pretending to be the him in his reflection. 

“shut the fuck up reflection Richie” he groans “I like girls, and tits and shit. I. Like. Girls.”

“I like Beverly everyone likes Beverly, so I like her, but only in a friend way” he flips himself off.

“Beverly is pretty, she’s brave,she’s kind and smart, tough an..funny, everything you’d want In a girl. Don’t get me wrong I like her just nothing as more than friends. But I think she’s pretty so Maby I do like her... yeah I have a crush on Beverly”Richie frowns at himself in the mirror. “That doesn’t sound right... no no no, it sounds perfectly right, I like Beverly” Richie sighs. “This means I can’t be gay... nope not gay at all.”

”nothing of what bowers say about me is true” he pressed his lips together firmly, reassuring himself. 

“Richie honey! You better get down here for breakfast soon or you gona be late!” Maggie called from the kitchen. “Coming mom!” 

“I’m straight I’m great and I’m ready for 8th. Grade, ugh that messed up the rime” Richie whispered to himself as he headed Down stairs. 

“So you exited for school? Eighth grades a big year, last year before high school. Agh your growing up to fast.” She squeezed his cheeks kissing him on the forehead. 

“Yeah, but don’t worry I’m not nervous at all”he said wiping his forehead and sitting down. 

“Well that’s good. Your dad headed into the office early but he want me to tell ya ‘good luck today your a fine fellow’ his words exactly.”She laughed handing him a plate of toast and eggs.

“Thanks. Tell him I said” he broke into an old sailor voice “me’ seas are mighty Ruff’ out there but me’ don’t need ye’ luck me Lad” 

She laughed lightly “Will do honey”

* * *

The day went by quickly and to Richies relief no one had even mentioned what happened at the arcade, well at least to him. It was already lunch and Richie was excited to get to eat with most of the losers, (mike was still home schooled)Cause now he had more than three friends, so that was cool.

“Sup losers, how’s everyone’s classes” Richie said loudly slamming his lunch bag on the table. “We literally have first period together.” Stan said exasperated. 

“Oh oh yeah” 

“How could you forget Richies literally sat next to each other” 

Richie smiles rolling his eyes playfully. “Yeah R-rich we had t-t-th-third period together just a few m-minutes ago” 

“Well than I wasn’t talking to you bill” Bill shrugs pulling out a soggy sandwich. 

“Hey guys” 

Beverly oh yeah Richie had a crush on bev now, “yep I have a crush on bev”

“What?” 

“Shit I said that out loud” Richies eyes widens in embarrassment “it’s alright Richie I don’t care if you have a crush on me” 

“That means your ok, good” 

“What do you mean Benny boy?” 

“Well I-I mean I had heard some girls gossiping about um” he looked around the table glancing at Richie the quickest, all the losers (sans mike) were listening in now. 

“About what?” Eddie asked 

“They um, had said that you were called um some names, I’m not gona say them. But yeah I was gona ask if you were ok” 

“Why wouldn’t I be ok? I’m not gay ok! those words don’t apply to me so they don’t hurt me. ok Ben? I like Beverly so I’m not gay ok!” 

“I’m sorry I was just watching out for you” 

“Well I’m not a pussy I can do that myself” Richie got up and headed out of the cafeteria heading in no particular direction. 

* * *

“Richie?”

“What do you want Bev?”

“Sorry.”she said sarcastically“I was just wondering if you wanted a smoke?” 

“No thanks” he sat with his arms wrapped around his knees staring out at the basketball courts, just watching the other kids play. 

“You alright?” 

“Why does everyone keep asking me that! There’s nothing wrong with me!” 

“Calm down Richie I didn’t say anything was wrong with you” 

“You kinda did” he mumbled “no I didn’t Richard” 

“Don’t fucking call me Richard” 

“You let Eddie call you Richard, and chie. Why can’t I” 

“Because eddies different” 

“How?” “Well we’re were best friends”

“I thought Stan was your best friend” 

“Beverly can I ask.... tell you something”

“Go for it” 

“ I like you but I don’t know if I like you as anything more than a friend, and I think that I should but, I don’t think I’ve... ever liked a girl in that way.” 

“What are you saying Richie?” She put her arm around him rubbing his shoulder. 

“I I have thees feeling, thees feelings I’m not supposed to have, well I’m supposed to but I... I have them for the” he looks up at her “ I have those feelings but not for girls” 

“I have those feelings for... Eddie and I’ve been trying to convince myself otherwise but it’s not working and what happened at the arcade, it did hurt and I just wanted a hug” 

A single tear rolled down his cheek as he looked up at Beverly. 

“Oh Richie, I’m so sorry that happened to you” she pulled him in close in a bone crushing hug. 

“And what hurt more than bowers calling me that, was when the boy I liked who I had hoped we could become friends, or something... more he called me- a name too and it hurt really bad, because I just convinced myself after that that being gay was the worst thing ever and I couldn’t be that way” 

“Oh Richie... I love you, and the other losers would love you too we don’t care who you like, your our friend and it’s ok to be gay there’s nothing wrong with you” 

“But what about Eddie what if he found out that... about how I feel about him? He’s always ranting about diseases and ADIS and shit” 

“I think he changed his mind about all the shit his mom had told him, plus I think he likes you back” 

“Yeah right, let’s go back to lunch it’s almost over”

“Come on then let’s go Richie” 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m gona make this a Sires of the losers being in middle school, so this will have been what happens on the first day of school in 8th grade. 
> 
> Also I wrote this at 1:45 am but I edited it in the morning.


End file.
